Poetry Collection

I miss your eyes
I miss your smile
I miss your taste
I miss your kiss
I miss your arms
I miss your lips
I miss your touch
I miss your fingers
I miss your face
I miss time with you
I miss holding you
I miss feeling you
I miss fucking you
I miss loving you
But I don't miss you.

May 30th, 2001
Copyright ©2001

A Prayer

Silently shouting angry thoughts to the heavens
Can He hear above the sullen cries of those who still believe?
I curse His name amidst the rolling thunder
Does He see the tears I shed against the falling rain?
I torch the book that spits His brimstone
Does He know the liars that twist His word?
'Open Your eyes, Open Your ears, Open Your mind...Read Your Book!'

Copyright ©2006

Cannot

I cannot see beyond my fear
I cannot escape the horrors here
I cannot deny myself the attraction
I cannot derive the satisfaction
I cannot myself be that bold
I cannot see you 'to have and to hold'
I cannot get past the rejection
I cannot believe in the power of seduction
I cannot find a way to release
I cannot remain here in peace
I cannot say 'I Love You'
I cannot hear you say 'Me Too'.

Copyright ©2006


Daffodils

And so I sit here
My gaze resting on the Daffodils
Perched upon her window sill

She speaks of a time
Long before I laid eyes upon her
And I listen intently

I search her every move
Every breath, every sound
For a clue of inclination

For I know she sees me not
As anything more than a dear, dear friend
Forevermore just a shadow to her flame

So, I let go
It is this, or it is nothing
I choose this

And so I sit here
my gaze resting on the Daffodils
Perched upon her window sill

Copyright ©2006


Gentle

My heart is found open~yet unbroken
Displaying it's scars like a veteran from battle
'It's slightly used' I muse, 'but it still works like new'
Your soft laugh makes it jump, a giggle makes it grin
You want to hold it, but it is already in your hands
'Gently' I say, 'Please be gentle with it's fragility'
Easily broken, not so easily mended I fear
You cup it in your hands as if to shelter it
'I will not hurt you' you say 'I will only love you'
My heart skips a beat at that and nestles into your hand.

Copyright ©2006


Good Little Christian Boy

GOOD LITTLE CHRISTIAN BOY

Tell me your condemnations
Read to me from HIS book

GOOD LITTLE CHRISTIAN BOY

Speak in HIS place
Crucify me as well

GOOD LITTLE CHRISTIAN BOY

Challenge me to damn HIM
Spoute your qoutes so I hate HIM

GOOD LITTLE CHRISTIAN BOY

Copyright ©2006

It Was All A Lie

Every word you ever spoke
Rings in my ears
Replaying in my head again and again

Every time you ever smiled
Is etched into my brain
Flashes in mind, tortures my soul

Ever kiss we ever shared
Still caresses my lips
Leaving them bruised and aching for you

Every moment of every embrace
The feel of your arms around me
Rapes me, I am left abandoned and alone

The words you used to say goodbye
The promises you made, the stories you told
The sorrow you swore you felt in your heart

It Was All A Lie.

Copyright ©2006

Mending

The Shadows seeping into my veins
Tormenting ancient wounds
To this day unhealed by time

Why do they not rest?
My heart has been crushed
Need I more pain?

Do I have to remember her smile
The way her neck always lured me
the sweet taste of her kiss

A memory is all that should be left
Punish me for this no more
Leave me with my mending heart.

Copyright ©2006

Untitled

Repression grips me
strangling my will to remember
I seek solace in truth
but find only despair in the void
My anger engulfs me
like barbed wire through flesh
There is no escaping this emptiness
whose bitterness speaks from afar
Taunting me with visions
of things I cannot see
Things my mind cannot grasp
and meditation cannot disturb
Will my soul forever betray me
or will I someday know the reasons
My blood runs cold with fear
and my heart is aching in denial

February 2000

Copyright ©2006


Untitled

You are beautiful to me
Your hair shines in the moonlight
Your eyes burn holes into mine
Your body moves against me

But there is malice behind your kiss
And staples in your tongue
Your embrace burns like hell
Your touch stings my aching flesh

For you will not fly on your own
You choose not to use your wings
Instead you soar on occasion
On the foot of a fool

I will not be your fool
I will not play your games
You can take me home tonight
If you still love me tomorrow

Copyright ©2006


Against it all

Against the odds that set presidence
Against the disillusionment of our years
against the raging tides of violence and greed
Against the pain of suffering and lose
Against the bitter cold of shoulders and loneliness
Against the ties that bind us to 'tradition'
Against the salty tears shed in mourning
Against the fear of deaths punctual grip
Against all we were, and all we could be
Against it all...We Love.

Copyright ©2006

Before You

Things were different before you
I didn't need you then
The way I need you now

No one said the things you've said
I didn't hear it then
The way I hear it now

I hadn't felt the way you make me feel
I didn't feel it then
But I feel it now

It didn't hurt this bad before
I didn't care much then
But I sure do now

I didn't love before you
I didn't see it then
The way I know it now

Copyright ©2006

Teach Me

To know you,
I must know myself...

To know myself,
I must know the past...

To know my past,
I must know my parents...

To know my parents,
I must know forgiveness...

To know forgiveness,
I must know love...

Can You teach me?

Copyright ©2006

Untitled

If ever there was a time for you
It would be here and now
For the shadows are overwelming
Against the blaze of the setting sun
The moon threatens days ruler
Anxious to start for her steady course
I am tired and weak from starvation
A hunger only you can cure

Come forth my dear, be with me here
Take me to your frigid palace
Set me upon your catered throne
Let me live in peace beside you
Not behind or beneath as some may go
I want to be your equal, your friend
I want to love you forever
As you in return shall love me

Copyright ©2006

Untitled

You took me in,
You took me on,
You took my hand,
You stole my heart.

You took my smile,
You took my face,
YOu took my pain,
You stole my love.

Copyright ©2006